Purple Monkey

I like AJ's Fine Foods. It's a fantastic grocery store and the cafe and bakery in there is great. I like to go there and get something to drink and then walk around La Encantada with the Small Man. The baby likes to walk all the way from AJ's to the back corner by Victoria's Secret. He stops at each fountain and looks at it for a while and he takes a long break at the Muttropolis dog statue. Sometimes he walks all the way back on his own, sometimes he does not.




I'm usually finished with my iced medium decaf cafe Americano by the time we get to the Muttropolis dog.

The problem with AJ's is, in the cafe and all the different food stations there, the service is consistently bad. The people are friendly enough, but they always seem a little surprised or something to have a customer. But it's busy. When you go in there to get a piece of pizza, you feel like you're the first person to ever go in there and ask for that.

Today I went in and ordered my iced medium decaf Americano. The ladies that work at the cafe are unusually chatty, so after the whole thing you have to go through to get your drink in there, the woman gives me a hot Americano. I said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'd like an iced one please." I told her that to begin with. I order the same drink a couple of times a day, at least. I order the same drink from the same woman at least a few times a week. Right of the bat she made me feel like I ordered it wrong and she made what I ordered, which is fine, I don't really care. But then she takes a cold cup, fills it with ice, dumps the hot Americano over the ice, and hands it to me.

You can't just dump a hot Americano over ice and hand it to a customer. It's supposed to be made with cold water. That's the whole point of getting an Americano instead of an iced coffee, the drink itself is stronger so when the ice melts it dilutes it down to the strength of regular coffee.

She gave me my drink, and by the time I got it over to where they have the cream and sugar, all the ice was melted, of course, and the drink was about the color of tea, if that dark. It was nasty. This lady has worked there a long time, she should have been taught better than to try to do that and charge a customer for it. She had the cup filled to the top with ice. She poured the hot Americano over the ice. What was left was all room-temperature watered-down coffee. What did she think, it was going to magically stay the right concentration when she cut it 1:1 with water?

The baristas in that cafe just seem to lack the professionalism of the black apron folks at Starbucks, except the one guy in there who happens to also work at Starbucks.

The other thing about AJs is that they offer a little Cappucino Club card. If you get eight stamps on it, you can get a free espresso drink. I cannot seem to ever remember to bring my card with me to AJs, so I have all these cards kicking around with a bunch of stamps on them. Earlier in the week, I got motivated and brought them all to AJs and asked the woman there to consolidate them for me onto one card. I ended up being one stamp shy of getting my free drink. One stamp. So I brought the card home, and I was so happy that the next day I'd get my free drink, and I immediately lost the card. I have no idea what happened to it. It's gone. All my stamps, gone.

But none of that is my point.

The point of me telling a story about AJ's is that it really annoys me when I go in there and there are ten customers at the cafe waiting for drinks, all getting treated as if they're the first person to ever walk in the doors, and I go up to the counter with the baby and it happens every single time, every time I go in there, the lady at the counter leans over and says, "Oh, look at the baby . . . " That's not so bad, but then you know, get on with trying to get the drink right but no, she goes on, "How cute . . . look at the baby . . . look at the baby . . . look at the baby . . . look at the baby . . . look at the baby . . . look at the baby . . . look at the baby . . . look at the baby . . . look at the baby . . . " It goes on, and on, and on like that. She actually folds her arms on the cake counter and puts her head down on top of them like when I go in is her personal time to take a little break or something. So then she says, "I remember those eyes." She remembers those eyes. She remembers the baby's eyes, but she can't remember that I just ordered an iced drink twenty seconds ago, the same iced drink I order every single time I go in there.

Labels: images, serious

The rabbit remains dead today.

Labels: dead things, images

Today I took the bandage off closer to photography. The reason the wound is glistening is because I apply Vaseline to it each day as directed. On the other days, I took the bandage off a few hours before I took the pictures but today due to my hectic schedule going to AJ's twice, getting Brain Age at GameStop, going to Burger King twice, going to the Hallmark store, getting gas, and doing some other stuff, I didn't take the bandage off until right before I took the pictures. Bandage removal today was more painful than any other day, too, probably because I applied the bandage too medially yesterday and it got into some hair.

There is some bruising that's starting to look greenish-yellow in person that I'm not sure is showing up in the photos, at least not this close up.

Labels: images, mysterious

Welcome to the world, Richard!

The bird hatched. I named him Richard. I'm glad he looks so big, but I have sort of a bad feeling about him because 1) there were two eggs but only one Richard, and 2) Richard didn't look so great. He was laying in the nest with his head down panting. It's been around 105 degrees every day lately and it looked like he was too hot. I'll check him in a couple of days. I don't want to disturb him too much.

Labels: animals, images

David writes:

We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin . . .

After years of captivity, Red 14 was officially released today at 9:00 am Tucson time.

His first request upon release was to go to Disneyland and so that's where you'll probably find him, Red Commander. We came to know Red 14 during captivity as a cheerful and overall pleasant sort of fellow and I'm sure all the black little numbered beads will miss him and wish him well. Red 14 will be holding a press conference at some point during his Disneyland vacation if you have any further questions. Thank you, this concludes this special bulletin.

Today is day 4 following surgery for removal of a mole from my abdomen. Dr. Colin Trout of Ironwood Dermatology on Skyline Drive performed the procedure without incident. Dr. Trout removed the lesion through an approximately 2.5 cm by 1.5 cm elliptical incision under local anesthetic administered by Patricia. The block was excellent and I didn't feel any pain whatsoever throughout the duration of the procedure. I did feel some tugging and pulling, but no pain at all. Dr. Trout closed the incision with seven sutures.

The next day after the surgery, Dr. Trout personally called me and left a voicemail on my cell phone asking how I was doing following the procedure. I was impressed that he took the time to do that and I will definitely be visiting Dr. Trout regularly in case any more questionable moles happen to pop up.

Labels: images, mysterious

As it was written, so it was done. On the third day after sustaining this damage, the wound is revealed.

Labels: images, mysterious

This is a game I call Gross-Up. It is inspired by my brother. In this game, I take a picture of something disgusting. I get as close to it as I can. I show you the picture and you try to guess in your mind what it is. Then you use the "Enlarge Photo" link and the actual subject will be revealed. Like magic.

Are you ready party people? Let's play Gross-Up!

Labels: images

There are only two days left until you know what's under this bandage.

Labels: images, mysterious

The mother bird is still sitting on her eggs. She's getting more used to me taking pictures of her.

Labels: animals, images

Today I held my eyes open without blinking for 7 minutes 45 seconds.

It wasn't even hard to do. I kind of just got bored with it at the end, and I had to leave where I was soon anyway.

I wonder how long a person can keep his or eyes open without blinking. I wonder what the longest anyone's ever gone without blinking is.

Labels: weird

This MAM pacifier presents a severe choking hazard.

Did you ever hear of a pacifier made out of something a baby can chew through, leaving a grape-sized latex nugget inside his mouth for him to choke on?

I did. Baby chewed through this pacifier the other day creating a potentially life-threatening (or at least odd) situation. I don't think pacifiers should be made of anything a fifteen-month old can chew through.

The only thing unusual about the conditions under which this pacifier served is that it was stored and used only in the car. Is the inside of a car too hot a place for latex pacifiers to be stored and used? MAM also makes a handy tether for attaching a pacifier to things like carseat straps, so it doesn't seem out of the realm of expected uses to leave one in the car.

Labels: images, serious